| I'm Trying My hardest To Stay A Little Girl Forever |
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| i dont think this is what kate had in mind... |
[27 May 2006|12:19am] |
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ava- the adventure |
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Kate sent me a nudge to remind me to write in this thing... aparently it's been 8 weeks. to tell you the truth, my life has changed pretty drastically in 8 weeks. i've fallen deeply in love with ben. i know it seems kind of crazy because i've only known him for a little over 3 months, but sometimes people come into your life for a reason. he came in my life to save me from fear. i really love everything about him, and especially how he is very patient and calming with me. he's not like any guy i've ever met or spent time with. i love to tell my parents things about him because i dont feel like there's anything i need to hide about him from them. my mom really seems to like him. he's so damn cute too. a lot of little things have happened but i cant remember much of them. my mom had a double masectomy on the 18th along with reconstruction. she was in the hospital for 6 days. i've been her nurse since she came home. i've also managed to pick up the house. i feel like im driftin away from some of my friends. i dont know what to do about it because they seem just as busy as i am, so it's hard to find time to do things with them or even just sit down and talk with them. i've been talking to my brother blake via myspace and i honestly cant tell if he's a total asshole or a total joker. its weird.
i hate college so much right now, but i know that when i leave i'll have someone at home waiting for me to come back. he said he would fly out to see me anytime i needed him. i think he ought to just buy a house out there. actually, i think no one should have religion forced on them. i honestly think im jewish, maybe buddhist. i love eastern religion. who is god? i havent been to church in a few weeks which makes me really happy and excited. when i see people from church i kind of dread it because i know they'll just tlak about god and church. some of them dont seem to like it much. they just follow the motions because that's what they're use to. i think thats really stupid and kind of a waste of life.
i bought a car and im so far in debt to my parents. i dont even like the friggin thing. he keeps crappin' out. i love doing things with ben alone. mostly sleeping because it's very peaceful and nice to have osmeone there. he fell asleep on my chest a few days ago when we came back from the angels and airwaves concert. i could tell he was asleep because he was grinding his teeth and he drooled a little. it was cute that he was so comfy and trusting that he actually fell asleep. i didnt even mind the drool cuz i was already soaked (from the show), and cuz it was his.
i went to see madi's apartment today and it made me want to move out and start a life with him. i could tell he wasnt ready when i suggested we run away. its not even feasible for us, but it is nice to dream. i would love to wake up to his face everymorning. he's so beautiful.
i think im losing the person i use to be, and im not sure if thats good or bad.
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[27 Mar 2006|12:11am] |
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gin blossoms- hey jealousy |
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so just a quick update for anyone who cares and reads this
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii'm going out with ben marchand. may i just say that he is fabulous? yep :)
thats really all thats going on that's worth sharing. bye!
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[15 Feb 2006|11:57pm] |
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vendetta red- gloria |
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so its midnight and im tired as hell. IM GOING TO CALIFORNIA AND VEGAS wooooo. i have to leave my house in four and a half hours. i havent packed much butttttt i dyed madi's hair the color of FABULOUS.
in other news, i spent my night with ben last night. we watched three movies, all of which were delicious but my back hurts like an old woman on her deathbed so i was a little distracted and tired. but it was still good :) im gunna learn how to play poker. sweet, right?
i hate fall out boy, and panic! at the disco. i just want to clear that up in case anyone was wondering.
in 17 hours i'll see my sister and kadey babe. i got him some kickass elmo shoes. they're bitchin'
i'm getting married to claudio sanchez's hair and the singer from vendetta red's voice; and what a marriage it will be.
i've had this thing with eating the past week. the thing is that i cant actually eat without dying. it seems pretty terrible but i've dropped mad weight which is sweet.
mad and i made another rap while dying her hair. i dont remember the rap but i remember it being pretty narly,
damn im tired. call me or something if you miss me so much you feel like bursting. HAHA okay i wont hear from any of you... so BYE!
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[07 Feb 2006|10:10pm] |
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so aparently my folks are already thinking about selling my house. some people are coming over on thursday to look at it. i told my mom i was going to put satanic relics all up in my room. im seriousy thinking about spray painting 666 on my walls and maybe hanging a few upside-down crosses just so they'll be too scared to buy my precious housely thing.
in other news... im leaving in 8 days to california and vegas :) i decided last night i was going to be the next john stewart/ stephen colbert woman. i think making fun of really ridiculous and highly unethical laws seems like a pretty good job. PLUS that way i'll get to talk to the secret service :)it'd be fun to make one of them laugh at his own job.
GOOD NIGHT!
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[31 Jan 2006|11:47am] |
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jimmy eat world- my sundown |
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So I havent updated in awhile. not much has happened that i can remember except I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL! i celebrated by babysitting 6 children for three days and 2 nights. i hate kids now. sad but true. that's about ittttttttt
except that im going back to the museum of fine arts on friday... wooo!
edit: i need to sell my cello ($1200) and my acoustic guitar (5 cents) because i dont use them and i want money. so if anyone knows anyone who wants them... let me know.
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[17 Dec 2005|04:09pm] |
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Nirvana on FNX |
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Today i went to the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston. It was love.
So here's a story of parents' love. After looking at Ansel Adams' brilliance, we wandered around the museum and ended up in the french impressionist room. there was a man, a woman, and their two daughters. each parent had one child in his or her arms. the kids were probaly 5 and 6 and the parents walked up to each one of tha paintings and asked "what is it that you like about this one?" I swear to god i was so happy for those chids. they're going to rock as adults. and also, there were art students doing projects all around the museum. i wanted to beat them up and take their lives hehe. that's all for now, bye lovelies!
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[08 Dec 2005|11:30pm] |
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so all i have to say is there better be no school tomorrow. also, killing small animals, chopping their tales off, and watching them run around until they die makes one a sociopath. look out for this symptom.
sucky police suck. WOO
winter is sucky and it sucks like a sucky suck suckmcsuck.
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| blah blah blah blah |
[05 Dec 2005|11:48pm] |
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i watched a really thought- provoking movie a few weeks ago and decided a lot of things about life
marriage: people get married so they can have a witness to their lives. if you dont have a witness you don't, in effect, exist or honestly matter to anyone. so with the conclusion i end my anti- marriage crusade. my crusade against asshole husbands hasnt ended and never will becuase mostly guys suck and treat their wives like shit.
religion: people who follow it blindly are stupid. people who fight against it are stupid. religion gives people hope and as long as they aren't harming anyone by believing a man created earth, they're entitled to have hope to get them through life without crazy assholes calling them stupid or ignorant. we all need hope. whether you believe in god/ organized religion or not, it's not hurting you directly and probably isnt even hurting you indirectly.
on another note: winter sucks, i'm constantly tired, and i feel like i'm losing my friends. i dont want to turn eighteen. i dont want to be away from my nephew this long. i miss my sister. i complain too much. and milk has puss in it. delicious, right? i ought to get to bed because 4 hours' sleep each night is turning me into a bitch
Oh, i'm married. against my will and without my knowledge, but despite that, my husband's kind of nice. lol
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[16 Nov 2005|09:15pm] |
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Postal Service on fnx |
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I think the Rev Al Sharpton is a cutie.
I'm going to art school. I decided that today. Pretty sweet, right? I'm getting a tattoo sometime after my birthday. It'll be on my ribs so as not to be distorted in the event that i have a child someday. I kind of know what i want but i refuse to say until i've decided and thought about it for a few months. i went to pilates tonight; it was fabulous. ALSO, i've decided to try vegetarianism (is that a word?) again. i do so hate the thought of little chickens being tortured. so we'll see how it goes. um... i guess that's all for now
except for ( mmm mmm. )
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| hello |
[12 Nov 2005|11:48pm] |
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Um what the hell is "My LJ"? haha
okay so... HAPPY BIRTHA to basically everyone who exists and was born this month. the last few days have been pretty sweet (despite the persistant feeling like i might upchuck something called chuck). my mom's friend and (part of) her family came to visit my mom for her birthday. basically i grew up with these people and i love them. they helped us move out here like... 7 years ago. god, all the memories i've tried to block out of those hellish 6 days get replayed everytime we're with them. we're making a movie about it which is pretty sweet. does anyone know of an actress that looks like me when i was eleven? chris tucker? yeah, he can play me.
it's kind of late right now. and i'm kind of tired. last night i owned at pool. which is a lie; but i made a cool shot. cory and my brother asked if kaitlin and i wanted to go (weird? no. i realize they wanted kaitlin to go cuz she's a studmuffin (haha) but it was actuallly fun. yep.) friday we went to boston and today i took kaitlin to the mall. i was supposed to watch some fabulous tatooing but that didnt work out. oh how i adore the art of tatooing. :) goodnight!
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[05 Nov 2005|09:48pm] |
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commercials on fnx |
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so today i found out i got accepted into the phlebotomy program. i tried to read the rest of the information but to say the least, i dont care that much. my brother's being an ass and all i want to do is sleep right now. i just woke up like 9 hours ago so i figure i should be awake for at least another twenty minutes. people are pricks... that's my thought for the night.
bye
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| be my little rock n roll [king] |
[01 Nov 2005|11:30pm] |
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me writing a four page paper on hamlet's sanity would be the euivalent of hitler writing a four page paper on how not to kill millions of jewish people.
bad example? i know.
i'm insane right now and i might just love it.
p.s. people who have sex in public= repulsive
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[16 Oct 2005|06:40pm] |
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weezer on fnx |
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Yesterday was the MCR/ AK3 and Reggie show. Charis, Steve, Ben, Sara, Madi and I got there a little after 530 and we found little cory in the front of the line, like 10 people back. so we snuck in not so stealthily. but the girls he was standing with were really nice. ummm so we stood out there for awhile. cory was pretty much dying of cold. it was almost sad. haha. so reggie was okay, but i dont like them. then the singer was like "MCR is next!" so i tried to get as close to the front as i could, everyone else stayed pretty far back. so the bassist for AK3 gets on stage and i was like hmm. anyway... alkaline trio was pretty sweet. i stayed in the semi front for like 4 songs but like 20 people fell over and i got sat on and some guy was like trying to pull me up he was like "GET UP GET UP YOU'RE GOING TO GET KILLED" but i couldnt because there were like 4 people sitting on my leg. it sucked. so i went back and stood next to ben and madi and some girl was rubbing her butt all over me and kept hitting me in the back so i pretty much killed her. madi said ben looked shocked and horrified. ummmmm
sat down for awhile while MCR was setting up, got some water, felt sick, blah blah. then the first song was my favorite and i realized i needed to not be sitting so i went into the crowd all by myself and jumped and SCRAMED (haha) like a crazy. it was pretty sweet. um yep.
my brother called... he's having a scottish wedding which meansssssssss he's wearing a kilt HAHA. i think that's it
other than... my friends are fabulous humans and i love them :)
p.s. i got my senior pictures back. i tired to scan them so you could see my ugly face but it looked more horrible when i scanned it. so if you want one just let me knowwwwwwwww
and also... i decided boys should protect girls from having fat chicks rub their butts all over us. i would have appreciated it a whole bunch. haha
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[13 Oct 2005|08:34pm] |
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the decemberists- 16 military wives |
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Today i told someone to exit my life forever because honestly the person makes my stress level rise to the point where it may just be lethal.
i got my senior pictures today. and also
I'm so stoked for the MCR/ AK3 concert!!
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[10 Oct 2005|03:12pm] |
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Pearl Jam on FNX :) |
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i just talked with madi on the phone for a good 20 minutes and it made me sad cuz i miss her. poo.
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| this is a hodge podge post. i'll try to make it flow as much as possible. |
[09 Oct 2005|10:03pm] |
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some crazy junk on 104.1 |
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so yeah... a lot of shit has happened that i'm not happy with recently and i think i'm more lost than ever about where my life is headed but i think i'm dealing with it relatively sanely. some guy i like (stupid stupid) likes some other girl (blah blah same story)i pretty much hate the way it feels
i also hate talking about marriage every effing week in church. I'M SEVENTEEN. i have NO PLANS on getting married EVER, especially not any time soon. it makes me want to put up with church even less. and i dont care if that means i'm going to hell. that's fine with me.
anyway... MCR/ alkaline trio on saturday! i seriously might weep at the sight of gerard. well not really... well... maybe. haha
charis and i have devoted our energy to being nicer to people in general. we were being really mean and i dont think i realized how much it made me sound like a complete bitch.
as far as school goes... i flip out all over the place when i dont understand something. which is all the time now. it kind of sucks. i got two b's and two a's. i got a 69 on my english paper; first time ever. i generally do well in english but this year is just going to be different and i'm accepting that. whatever. school's out january 20th. that's reason enough to celebrate
i caught up on Questionable Content. if you haven't read this webcomic (that sounds so geeky haha) it seriously is hilarious. and it makes me happy so here's the address... www.questionablecontent.net i suggest you start at the beginning, it's a great use of time. i was reading a part of jeph's newspost and i liked it: "Above all, keep in mind there ain't no shame in trying to stay sane.(Speaking of Prozac) If you're going to act all self-righteous or judgemental about it, I cordially invite you to go fuck a knothole."
yeah. so i think there was more but i got most of it. sorry if you were offended by any of the content in this but honestly if you were, take me off your friends list. i dont mean or need to offend anyone.
p.s. i wore my entire costume on saturday to the Pumpkin Fest... cha and i were there for a good 20 minutes before we realized we didnt actually need to help out because there was nothing to do, due to rain. i'd show you pictures but i care just as much as you do. (very little)
Good Night!
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[04 Oct 2005|03:07pm] |
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none. the cop took it away. haha |
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Hey. So today was today.
We went to paint windows on the oval for the pumpkin festival and basically it was Erin, Laura, Allegra, Pik, Chelsea and i painting the town hall. chelsea and i brought our cars around and turned our radios on so we could all have something to listen to while painting. and some dumbass cop came by and started SCREAMING at chelsea (pik was sly enough to turn my car off before the guy noticed two cars were contributing to the sound) so basically she got a written warning because that guy had a stick up his butt. around 1030 i left and went to dunks and got a coffee coolatta. which aparetnly means i'm going to hell according to some certain people. but basically that person also has a stick up his butt.
anyway got back to school blah blah
( This is my halloween dress. Tell me you like it? )
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[29 Sep 2005|10:35pm] |
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On a happier note...
Hello :)
tylenol PM is like... i dunno. but the Arthurian legend pretty much fascinates me. and so does this pain in my rib. hehe
night :)
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[25 Sep 2005|10:51pm] |
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I just read the best story from the Canterbury Tales :). it was cute.
PS i have a lot of snot in my nose and that makes it hard to eat. because i cant chew with my mouth closed and also breathe so i end up fainting
have a lovely night, chids
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